I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
