my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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