We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
