12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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