my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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