and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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