i just google imaged poop.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize