Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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