It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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