question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
