Dual....:-)
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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