Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
