4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
