We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
