Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
