What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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