Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
