Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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