yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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