You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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