What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
