At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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