And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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