In the future we'll all be gay
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize