You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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