I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
