Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
