a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she smelled like a LAN party
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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