We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
