I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
