I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
