I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
