Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
