no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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