My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
