well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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