I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
