Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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