im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
