So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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