operation harelip BJ is a go
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
