i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
