Can i not drive my cunt home
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
