i would punch a child for taco bell
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
