I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
