Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
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Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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