What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
