I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
