I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
