the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
