Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
