I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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