then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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