Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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