He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
