I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
