is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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