i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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