I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
