I cockslap morals
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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