I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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